Teenagers can be a huge help when moving. They are old enough to help plan, pack, gather information, and help explain the move to their siblings.
Assigning them to do tasks will help them feel needed by the family. This knowledge that they are needed and have a place in the home will help them to make the transition to a new area with a new school.
Be sure to show appreciation for what they do as well. Otherwise they will simply feel like a slave, instead of needed.
As you praise them, they will become encouraged and unconsciously help you more. In the initial shock of the announcement of the move, your teenager may try to talk you out of moving.
They may even suggest living with a local relative or friend. Counselors and other professionals do believe that if your teenager is in their senior year of high school, if these options are available you may want to take this route.
However, in most cases the best way to handle this situation is to simply be firm in restating the fact that the family is staying together. Do not allow yourself to become frustrated and yell at your teenager as this will simply heighten their anxiety, deepen anger and resentment, and hurt the family overall.
It may be helpful to do constructive activities together such as performing research on the new area and emphasizing the new opportunities and activities that your teenager will be able to participate in. This is your opportunity to be a salesman and you need to ’sell’ the new neighborhood to your child.
Work at it slowly until they become excited, but do not overdo it or they will not believe that the positive things you say about the area can be really true. If they were extremely upset about the move, they may try to hide any excitement they begin to feel, but as their parent you know them really well.
The concern of losing their current friends and making new ones is likely to be your teenager’s biggest concern. Talk to them about it and suggest ways that they can stay in touch with their best friends.
Facebook and other social media sites make staying in touch much easier than it was before the time of computers. Suggest the idea that after the family is settled, they may be able travel back for long weekends or a summer vacation to visit their friends.
Teenagers struggle with feeling insecure about themselves, their future, and their place in society. They need to feel like they are understood, respected, and supported.
There are many things that you can encourage your teen to do to cope with their internal struggles and concerns about moving. For example, suggest that they start keeping a journal if they are not already.
This time is a big turning point for them and they may want to be able to review how they were feeling and what they did in the future. Journal keeping is a good way to vent feelings, worries, stress, and sorrow in a positive, constructive manner.
The journal can become a scrapbook that holds pictures of the last days with current friends and neighborhood. After the move, photos of new friends can be added.
Offer your teenager the opportunity to design their new room. Let them select paint colors, furniture placement, and other accessories.
This activity can be a lot of fun for them. It will also allow them to express themselves in a new way.
They will get a sense of belonging, satisfaction, and freedom through decorating their room. As a parent, you will see growth and improved well-being if you provide them this opportunity.
Lastly, make sure that your teenager has the opportunity to say goodbye to their friends. Consider throwing going-away parties where you give away the things you cannot take with you or hand-made gifts.
If you are too busy, consider letting them plan the party because this will help them think about the move in a positive manner. It will also help them stay active and productive instead of becoming depressed by thinking about the upcoming move in a negative manner.
Tom Selwick is a resident of Utah and has written hundreds of articles relating to tourism and real estate. He recommends (http://www.parksedgeparkcity.com) for your next condo in Park City.
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